Tuesday 28 April 2009
Friday 24 April 2009
Londinium: a global microcosm
It's taken me the best part of 19 years but I think I've finally cracked it! It occurred to me today that London is in a way a microcosm of the Mercator projection map and also of global socioeconomic status.
North West London is known to be an affluent and fairly exclusive leafy area including such towns as St. John's Wood, Hampstead Heath, Harrow, Moor Park and of course mini-hollywood: GX. Additionally, it has a fine collection of extremely reputable preparatory and grammar schools (Harrow School, Merchant Taylors, NLCS, Northwood College, DCGS) - all of which appear towards the higher end of the country's league tables. For this reason, NW London represents Europe and North America in the world of today.
Islington would represent Turkey/Israel as it is an upcoming area that could become highly visible in the near future. Turkey could possibly be entering the EU and with a large, increasing, working-age population - it will quite possibly also get a signing on bonus. Israel, already a world leader in various technologies (and with all the know-how of occupying foreign lands), is already three quarters of the way there. On the other hand, if one were to venture further north west into Hackney and Godforsaken forbid Walthamstow, the smell of vodka wouldn't be the only thing that was reminiscent of Russia. I shall say no more about the evident parallels that may be drawn between Walthamstow and Russia just in case regions of E17 have now got access to the internet.
Central London is the Middle East. Rich in natural reserves of investment banks and other such financial institutions which the world depend on, and teeming with its fair share of high-rise glass buildings - London is like an oil rich Dubai (before it went bankrupt and with less fat arabs) which doesn't exploit the Nepalese.
As for East London, it's pretty much identical to the sub-continent in every possible way. Overflowing with asians living in squalid slums, run down and with the odd cow on the road - it's no wonder why they call it "little India". I guess everything's little in comparison to India though?
The River Thames roughly represents the boundary of the North-South divide. South London, much like Africa, is for the most part fairly deprived, illiterate and black. Richmond, the only exception to stereotypical South London, could be the Australia of the Southern Hemisphere (without the crazy cannibalistic Aborigines).
And thus concludes my 19 year long work!
North West London is known to be an affluent and fairly exclusive leafy area including such towns as St. John's Wood, Hampstead Heath, Harrow, Moor Park and of course mini-hollywood: GX. Additionally, it has a fine collection of extremely reputable preparatory and grammar schools (Harrow School, Merchant Taylors, NLCS, Northwood College, DCGS) - all of which appear towards the higher end of the country's league tables. For this reason, NW London represents Europe and North America in the world of today.
Islington would represent Turkey/Israel as it is an upcoming area that could become highly visible in the near future. Turkey could possibly be entering the EU and with a large, increasing, working-age population - it will quite possibly also get a signing on bonus. Israel, already a world leader in various technologies (and with all the know-how of occupying foreign lands), is already three quarters of the way there. On the other hand, if one were to venture further north west into Hackney and God
Central London is the Middle East. Rich in natural reserves of investment banks and other such financial institutions which the world depend on, and teeming with its fair share of high-rise glass buildings - London is like an oil rich Dubai (before it went bankrupt and with less fat arabs) which doesn't exploit the Nepalese.
As for East London, it's pretty much identical to the sub-continent in every possible way. Overflowing with asians living in squalid slums, run down and with the odd cow on the road - it's no wonder why they call it "little India". I guess everything's little in comparison to India though?
The River Thames roughly represents the boundary of the North-South divide. South London, much like Africa, is for the most part fairly deprived, illiterate and black. Richmond, the only exception to stereotypical South London, could be the Australia of the Southern Hemisphere (without the crazy cannibalistic Aborigines).
And thus concludes my 19 year long work!
Thursday 23 April 2009
Tuesday 21 April 2009
Saturday 18 April 2009
Saturday 11 April 2009
Friday 10 April 2009
WILT
Apparantly you learn something new everyday. What I Learnt Today was the personification for the United Kingdom: John Bull - and what's more Mr. Bull is far older than Uncle Sam. Other terms for the UK include: Albion (the oldest name for the island), Brittania and the well known Great Britian and The British Isles. One does wonder why a single country (or four) requires such an array of names.
Thursday 9 April 2009
Cleaning up after yourself...
Now I'm no medical expert, and it'll probably surprise you to know I don't even have a GCSE in P.E. however, I do know that washing yourself is basic hygiene. If you were to use your hand to sift through excrement, it would be far from unnatural to then wash it thoroughly. Simply wiping off the muck with a tissue/towel of some sort does not seem to be enough.
Why then is it any different when on the potty? Washing yourself is not an Islamic concept - merely a hygienic one.
What I am proposing is for washing facilities to be available in every toilet in the UK - from the hospitals and airports to churches and homes.
Why then is it any different when on the potty? Washing yourself is not an Islamic concept - merely a hygienic one.
What I am proposing is for washing facilities to be available in every toilet in the UK - from the hospitals and airports to churches and homes.
Wednesday 8 April 2009
Tuesday 7 April 2009
Gen Debt
Forget Generation X and Gerenation Y: we and our future children are now being labelled "generation debt" due to the reckless spending and prior mis-management of the UK government. I was rather amused to watch the "debt counter" on Sky News (started on 06/04/09 at 0700) rising at a rate of £4,800 per second which brought back memories of the National Debt Clock in Times Square running out of place holders. I'm sure, assuming I do one day land myself a job, I won't find it as entertaining in years to come.I also think it somewhat hilarious that the government wants schools to teach their pupils about money and debt. The words "pot", "kettle" and "black" all spring to mind...
But what prompted me to write this post was this: Muslim population 'rising 10 times faster than rest of society'. It looks like if the UK economy does make it through this r******** alive, it will be the Moslems who will be paying for its stupidity...
Monday 6 April 2009
Stupid contradictory sayings.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for the rest of his life. Quite so. How about this: Give a man a fire and you keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
And how is it possible to reconcile "actions speaking louder than words" with "the pen being mightier than the sword"?
Let's not forget it's the "first bird that gets the worm" but the "second mouse that gets the cheese". While this is all very well, one wonders how helpful the sayings are if you are neither bird nor mouse.
And how is it possible to reconcile "actions speaking louder than words" with "the pen being mightier than the sword"?
Let's not forget it's the "first bird that gets the worm" but the "second mouse that gets the cheese". While this is all very well, one wonders how helpful the sayings are if you are neither bird nor mouse.
Saturday 4 April 2009
A Bad Compromise
So the other week we went sofa shopping. Eventually after much discussion and/or argument we settled on this: (Swivel Range, from DFS)
Unfortunately the woman in pink cost too much so we left her out. There were a number of reasons why we initially did not all agree that this would be the best buy but I'll spare you the intimate details of that. Once we had settled on this sofa, we had to choose the colour. Now personally, I think that dark colours (dark brown and black) radiate an air of formality, whereas light colours would not only lighten up the room but go well with the light brown carpet and medium/dark brown blinds. Another thing to bear in mind when dealing with leather is that, akin to jeans, it does in fact fade after a while (due to general wear&tear and the sun) and so the lighter the fabric, the less the fadedness will show.
Enough wiffle-waffle. My brother said something like "no point in having a bad compromise" (regarding the choice of colour). This got me thinking, aren't most compromises "fruitless"? As evidence allow to me present the story of King Solomon in the courtroom (1 Kings 3:16-28). As I'm sure most of you are aware, when presented with the two women both of whom claimed ownership over a baby, King Solomon threatened to split the baby in half. One woman objected, wanting more than anything for the child to survive, whilst the other was too busying thinking about shoes (or so the story goes...) to notice what was going on. King Solomon then knew who the true mother was. However, were he to go ahead with the compromised solution, neither would have really got what they wanted (given that they both wanted a live baby).
If there are two homeless people who each need £5 to purchase a meal to survive and you only have £5 to give; then giving each of them £2.50 each isn't helping anyone and will starve them both. Equality aside, had you given the full £5 to either one of the homeless people, they could have gone out and bought a meal which would have seen them through to the next day.
The art of compromise isn't about achieving "the best of both worlds" - rather, it the the art of cheating people out of what they want/need while all the while portraying yourself to be their saviour.
Unfortunately the woman in pink cost too much so we left her out. There were a number of reasons why we initially did not all agree that this would be the best buy but I'll spare you the intimate details of that. Once we had settled on this sofa, we had to choose the colour. Now personally, I think that dark colours (dark brown and black) radiate an air of formality, whereas light colours would not only lighten up the room but go well with the light brown carpet and medium/dark brown blinds. Another thing to bear in mind when dealing with leather is that, akin to jeans, it does in fact fade after a while (due to general wear&tear and the sun) and so the lighter the fabric, the less the fadedness will show.Enough wiffle-waffle. My brother said something like "no point in having a bad compromise" (regarding the choice of colour). This got me thinking, aren't most compromises "fruitless"? As evidence allow to me present the story of King Solomon in the courtroom (1 Kings 3:16-28). As I'm sure most of you are aware, when presented with the two women both of whom claimed ownership over a baby, King Solomon threatened to split the baby in half. One woman objected, wanting more than anything for the child to survive, whilst the other was too busying thinking about shoes (or so the story goes...) to notice what was going on. King Solomon then knew who the true mother was. However, were he to go ahead with the compromised solution, neither would have really got what they wanted (given that they both wanted a live baby).
If there are two homeless people who each need £5 to purchase a meal to survive and you only have £5 to give; then giving each of them £2.50 each isn't helping anyone and will starve them both. Equality aside, had you given the full £5 to either one of the homeless people, they could have gone out and bought a meal which would have seen them through to the next day.
The art of compromise isn't about achieving "the best of both worlds" - rather, it the the art of cheating people out of what they want/need while all the while portraying yourself to be their saviour.
Friday 3 April 2009
Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll
Three things which "my" religion prohibits. Personally, I do not believe that my religion does prohibit these things but such is the twaddle uttered by people with turbans and big beards. Before I proceed any further I should clarify:
1. Sex outside marriage: not allowed under any circumstance (pre-marital sex: punishable by 100 lashes | adultery: punishable by stoning to death)
2. Drugs (the "intoxicating" sort - which I guess is just about all of them?): again, not allowed..
3. Rock 'n' Roll (or anything that vaguely resembles music): you guessed it - not allowed.
But the purpose of this post isn't to insult islamic jurisprudence - for that there will be plenty more posts. My real question is concerning the morality of the three aforementioned "sins".
A "religious" man would put sex at the top of the forbidden tree, then drugs about half way down and music near the foot of the trunk. A "rational" man would put drugs at the top of the tree and probably not even hear you mention sex and music. Drugs have irreversible side effects, sex (the protected kind) doesn't, and as for music... I can't even begin to take that suggestion seriously.
What does it even mean to lose your virginity? For a guy... not much (not that I would know..). For a woman, there is the possibility that her hymen may break (if it has not already broken naturally). Okey, big deal? Compare this on the one hand with sepsis, lung cancer, and the probable life-long addiction to drugs (with the possibility of a life of crime to fund the addiction). Not to mention the drug-specific side effects such as hallucinations etc.
Yes, the religious man does speak of such things as "sanctity of marriage" but let us not forget the christian religious man may well be a gay/paedophile clergy member. As for the moslem religious man, what is sanctity of marriage when all love making is to be done on your terms and your terms only. Oh, and let's not forget that you are entitled to as many concubines as you can afford*. Celebrites these days are swapping spouses faster than ever before. The sanctity of marriage, if ever there was any, has been extinct for many years now.
Why then, despite knowledge of the above information, would the religious man rate sex outside of marriage a deadlier sin than drugs?
*It should be noted that concubinage is not unique to Islam; the Bible records that King Solomon and King David both had concubines, and it is recorded in other cultures too.
1. Sex outside marriage: not allowed under any circumstance (pre-marital sex: punishable by 100 lashes | adultery: punishable by stoning to death)
2. Drugs (the "intoxicating" sort - which I guess is just about all of them?): again, not allowed..
3. Rock 'n' Roll (or anything that vaguely resembles music): you guessed it - not allowed.
But the purpose of this post isn't to insult islamic jurisprudence - for that there will be plenty more posts. My real question is concerning the morality of the three aforementioned "sins".
A "religious" man would put sex at the top of the forbidden tree, then drugs about half way down and music near the foot of the trunk. A "rational" man would put drugs at the top of the tree and probably not even hear you mention sex and music. Drugs have irreversible side effects, sex (the protected kind) doesn't, and as for music... I can't even begin to take that suggestion seriously.
What does it even mean to lose your virginity? For a guy... not much (not that I would know..). For a woman, there is the possibility that her hymen may break (if it has not already broken naturally). Okey, big deal? Compare this on the one hand with sepsis, lung cancer, and the probable life-long addiction to drugs (with the possibility of a life of crime to fund the addiction). Not to mention the drug-specific side effects such as hallucinations etc.
Yes, the religious man does speak of such things as "sanctity of marriage" but let us not forget the christian religious man may well be a gay/paedophile clergy member. As for the moslem religious man, what is sanctity of marriage when all love making is to be done on your terms and your terms only. Oh, and let's not forget that you are entitled to as many concubines as you can afford*. Celebrites these days are swapping spouses faster than ever before. The sanctity of marriage, if ever there was any, has been extinct for many years now.
Why then, despite knowledge of the above information, would the religious man rate sex outside of marriage a deadlier sin than drugs?
*It should be noted that concubinage is not unique to Islam; the Bible records that King Solomon and King David both had concubines, and it is recorded in other cultures too.
Thursday 2 April 2009
The Loo: anhabitable abode?
I've never kept a dustbin in my room. I always thought the concept of living and sleeping in the same room as a pile of rubbish was rather bizarre. It's the animal equivalent of sleeping next to a pile of your own excrement (sorry to put it so crudely).
In the summer of '07 we renovated the house - an event that hadn't taken place in our house until that year. Aside from changing the carpets & wallpaper and planting spotlights in every conceivable place, two major developments took place. One was to combine the kitchen and dining room into one large kitchen/dining room and the other, was to bring the garage indoors and divide it into two. The back half would serves as a utility room for the kitchen and the front was to be transformed into a cloakroom.
What is great about the now new cloakroom is that not only is it large and spacious, but the sun's rays flood through it's huge windows from morning till dusk. This is why I have chosen it as my new revision spot. I figured the change of scenery and sunlight (not to mention the unparalleled crisp radio signal obtainable from that room) might do me some good. And I think it has.
"Why are you telling me this?", I hear you cry. Well I reckon up to now you're thinking things like, "that's wonderful", "good for me", oh and of course, "why are you telling me this?!". Well the cloakroom contains a loo in one corner of it, next to which is positioned a washbasin. Some may even argue the room was a purpose built toilet!... I don't get what is so "unimaginable" about working there. (At this point I should point out that I don't use the loo that's there!). The way I see it, if you are prepared to live along side smelly socks, snot filled tissues, dead insects and other such material... what's wrong with working in close proximity to a large bowl full of clean water. Stop being such loo-haters!!
In the summer of '07 we renovated the house - an event that hadn't taken place in our house until that year. Aside from changing the carpets & wallpaper and planting spotlights in every conceivable place, two major developments took place. One was to combine the kitchen and dining room into one large kitchen/dining room and the other, was to bring the garage indoors and divide it into two. The back half would serves as a utility room for the kitchen and the front was to be transformed into a cloakroom.
What is great about the now new cloakroom is that not only is it large and spacious, but the sun's rays flood through it's huge windows from morning till dusk. This is why I have chosen it as my new revision spot. I figured the change of scenery and sunlight (not to mention the unparalleled crisp radio signal obtainable from that room) might do me some good. And I think it has.
"Why are you telling me this?", I hear you cry. Well I reckon up to now you're thinking things like, "that's wonderful", "good for me", oh and of course, "why are you telling me this?!". Well the cloakroom contains a loo in one corner of it, next to which is positioned a washbasin. Some may even argue the room was a purpose built toilet!... I don't get what is so "unimaginable" about working there. (At this point I should point out that I don't use the loo that's there!). The way I see it, if you are prepared to live along side smelly socks, snot filled tissues, dead insects and other such material... what's wrong with working in close proximity to a large bowl full of clean water. Stop being such loo-haters!!
Wednesday 1 April 2009
1st Things 1st
No more junk food. A healthy body equals a healthy mind.
My new breakfast plan (hopefully until next September+ but for now let's make it less daunting by saying until end May) is a choice between:
1. An omlet (unlike the 4 egg ones I'm used to, I think 2 eggs will be max.)
2. Porridge (I hear it's good for you. Can you have too much of a good thing? Well I sure hope not...)
3. Weetabix with museli (again, nice healthy stuffs)
And for lunch I plan to have a selection of fresh fruit daily, kindly cut for me by my dear mother. They will include:
2x banannas
1x apple
1x pear
(a few)x grapes/strawberries
For dinner, I will be eating at home everyday. No more going out, no more fast food and above all - no more samosas!
As for fluid intake, I will be cutting out all forms of juice/other and will be sticking to mineral water and goats milk.
this ought to be a laugh... :-)
My new breakfast plan (hopefully until next September+ but for now let's make it less daunting by saying until end May) is a choice between:
1. An omlet (unlike the 4 egg ones I'm used to, I think 2 eggs will be max.)
2. Porridge (I hear it's good for you. Can you have too much of a good thing? Well I sure hope not...)
3. Weetabix with museli (again, nice healthy stuffs)
And for lunch I plan to have a selection of fresh fruit daily, kindly cut for me by my dear mother. They will include:
2x banannas
1x apple
1x pear
(a few)x grapes/strawberries
For dinner, I will be eating at home everyday. No more going out, no more fast food and above all - no more samosas!
As for fluid intake, I will be cutting out all forms of juice/other and will be sticking to mineral water and goats milk.
this ought to be a laugh... :-)
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